Akatsuki Horror Series: The Candy Addict's Menu
by Tyranno's girl
Summary: Diamond's a girl's best friend? Hardly! Everyone knows that chocolate and sugar are the cure to all that ails you. And no one knows this better than Uchiha Itachi: The BEST baker around...
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: **

… **Okay, I'm going to warn you guys now. I think that this might be, single-handedly, the worst AHS I've ever written. I don't know why, but lately it feels like I've been rushing all of my writing since school is practically kicking my ass right now. **

**Anyway, I **_**really**_** wanted to get an AHS done in time for Halloween and out of all of the ones I've been working on, **_**this**_** was the closest to completion. So, I finished it. **

**Yay… **

**Gah, I'm not satisfied with how this turned out! **

**The song it's based on is 'The Full Course for Candy Addicts' by Miku Hatsune and it was one of the earliest songs made using Miku's new Append software when it came out so, if you look it up and it sounds like Luka for a moment, yeah… That's why. **

**And since I don't give **_**content**_** warnings for any of my fics (I like to have people surprised~), the only thing I will say is if you got through AHS: Zetsu Conchita… You'll be fine. **

**Oh, and I've been working on that Read-Aloud, but I'm currently trying to figure out which scene to put on YouTube (you know, time-limit and all…) **

**Okay, enough chatter! Let us make ze magicks!**

* * *

><p>Two cups of flour, white and pure dust being gently, gently sifted into a rose-shaded mixer.<p>

Two cups of sugar, crystalline powder that sprinkled down, down into the slowly swirling mix; soon the sweet smells of a cake batter filled the room, even before the dish had been baked.

But this mix wasn't for a cake. Well, half of it wasn't. Half would be made into the most delicious cupcakes and the other half would be used for a special cake-batter ice cream.

* * *

><p>Three cups of sugar, sparkling dust raining into a steel black mixing bowl.<p>

Two cups of corn syrup, sticky and clear slowly drizzling down to meet the sugar.

The bowl was set on top of a small burner and just as the mix began reacting to the heat, a wooden spoon entered the party; quickly stirring and keeping the mixture from burning.

A small black jar was picked up by a slim, pale hand as its counterpart worked. The jar was opened; the smell of licorice root filling the air before just a bit of the black powder was poured in, the color and consistency of the mix changing immediately.

After that, he had to work quickly; otherwise the mixture would gel up in the bowl and be useless. So, into braided molds the black liquid went before said molds were set by a cooling fan.

* * *

><p>A bowl of raspberries, fresh, ripe, plump, went tumbling into a copper pot.<p>

They were followed by three cups of sugar and corn syrup before a fire snapped up underneath it. Those pale hands worked hard to crush all the ingredients together into one fine paste, the heat helping break things down a little.

It took a bit of time, but soon the combination was poured out onto a surface covered in wax paper. A spatula was used to even everything out until it was smooth and cool enough to be cut up and rolled into edible portioned fruit snacks.

* * *

><p>"A tray of black licorice sticks…" A calm, gentle voice counted off as a golden tray of black candies were set in a display window.<p>

"A jar of raspberry Fruit Rolls…" The paper-thin treats were set besides a cash-register, the jar holding them decorated with a copper ribbon.

"Two dozen more cupcakes to even out the circulation…" Two trays of orange and red velvet cupcakes soon joined their brethren of _many_ other cupcakes that had their own display case.

"And finally," The voice gave a content smile as a canister of white, _white_ ice cream was added to a massive ice cream display freezer, filled with other flavors, "The cake batter ice cream…"

When the canister was safely set up, and the freezer set to a certain temperature, the owner of the residence took a deep stretch and wiped the sweat from his brow before looking at his reflection in the display windows. His skin was elegantly pale, going along perfectly with the rest of his regal stature (like that of a young prince); his long, ink-black hair was tied into a pony-tail, and his onyx eyes matched his smile as he turned and whispered, "Alright, time to open."

Itachi Uchiha.

If you looked up prodigy in a dictionary, you would probably see a picture of him between William Shakespeare and Vincent Van Gogh.

From the day he entered pre-school, everyone could see that Itachi was going to go far. And he went even beyond what was expected of him.

Honor rolls throughout primary school, Principal's List in middle school, and nation-wide recognition for his talents all throughout high school. Which he completed early, allowing him to go to the best University of his family's choosing and graduate from there with a PH. D. in law within just a few years.

Now, such a feat _along_ with getting a job would seem practically impossible to attempt, let alone keep up with.

And, unfortunately for Itachi, it was.

The poor brunette had burnt himself out, all of his energy was depleted and he couldn't even function on a day to day basis without some sort of medication: all of them having some sort of violent side effect from massive mood swings, self-mutilation, or the weirdest cravings…

* * *

><p>One afternoon, the year Itachi turned nineteen, his family went to his uncle Madara's wedding; not because it was a special occasion, mostly because this was the perverted old fool's fourth marriage to some ditzy, blonde, big-boobed bimbo…<p>

"And Maddy-poo here managed to get a champagne and chocolate-flavored wedding cake~!" The bouncy, bubbly bride gushed as the newlyweds went to show Itachi's family a sneak-peek of the reception-hall. Fugaku could only glare at his brother, the look saying more than enough.

However, when she opened the door, she managed to bump into a waiter, who crashed into a dancer, who tripped right into the piece de resistance, the wedding cake.

The scene of the cake falling to the floor could have been played in slow-motion, but the result was still the same.

"Wah~!" The bride bawled her eyes out, "My big, fancy, dream-wedding's ruined! Maddy-poo, do something~!" Madara groaned, digging into his pocket for a cell-phone.

"The bakers are on the other side of town… Damn it, I can't believe this!" As the small group was panicking, thinking about what the hell they were going to do with the reception being due around the corner, Itachi just looked at the toppled masterpiece for a long moment.

In the flicker of an eyelid, Itachi rushed forward and grabbed a plate, fork, and knife from one table before retrieving the ceremonial cake knife from the main table.

"Itachi, what are you doing?" Mikoto asked, but Itachi ignored everyone as he quickly salvaged the majority of the fallen cake (whatever was touching the floor would just have to stay there to be cleaned). He looked at the display towers before readjusting them and cutting the remaining cake into simply elegant designs (flowers, doves, bells) and set them up before using what icing was left to cover everything up.

By the time he was done, Madara's bride blinked her wide eyes and squealed in excitement, "Oh Em Gee!" The cake display, if anything, looked three times as amazing as it did before; a true testimony to the beauty of marriage. "Itachi, you're like, a genius or something!"

"Aniki…" Sasuke whispered, "When did you learn how to do _this_?" Itachi panted from all the energy he put in his work. He didn't know where it came from, but he liked it. He briefly noticed a spot of icing on his finger. So, of course, in an effort to clean it but not mess up his clothing, he licked it off.

In that one lick of dessert, that one tongueful of sugar, Itachi had flashed back to a time in first grade. Oh, how _everything_ had been so much simpler then! That day he had been studying, like a good little Uchiha, and staying inside class while everyone else was enjoying recess…

* * *

><p>"<em>Uchiha-kun?" Itachi blinked as he looked up and saw the smiling, handsome face of his teacher looking at him. "What are you doing inside? Everyone else is already playing."<em>

"_I have to study." Itachi stated, "So I can become something in life." The teacher was a bit put off by the small child's response. But Itachi's determination made him smile, resting a hand on the small boy's head. _

"_Whatever you want to do in life, Itachi," The teacher smiled, "I'm sure it'll be great." _

_Even after the teacher left to go watch over the other children, Itachi felt his face heat up in a blush. _

* * *

><p>On that day, after the wedding had gone off without a hitch, Itachi had told his family that he wanted to own a confectionary store. And after seeing how he had acted when he was saving the wedding cake, they knew that it would be a good investment.<p>

Every morning, on the main street of Konoha City, a suburb where leaves shined green and cherry blossoms fell every spring, Itachi's bakery Kokoro would open its doors for all those seeking something to pacify their sweet-tooths and cravings.

Itachi's intelligence and new-found love of sugar had translated into being a confectionary genius. He always had to wake up two hours before opening time to make sure he had enough products for the day.

He had grown up fair, beautiful in some senses of the word, so he had more than his fair share of customers. Even though most of them had originally started coming there just to see Itachi's face, but one taste of the Uchiha's wares…

And they were hooked.

* * *

><p>"That was a caramel-topped vanilla cone for you…" Itachi announced as he quickly drizzled a swirl of molten caramel on top of a vanilla scoop of ice cream resting in a freshly made waffle- cone. He handed it to a small boy whose mother was practically grabbing his arm to keep him steady. "And a strawberry sherbet spire…" He took a length of rock candy and slowly covered it with a scoop of strawberry sherbet, shaping it into a small pyramid before handing it to the boy's mother, "For you."<p>

The woman thanked him and quickly paid so that her son could eat his treat before spilling it all over the floor.

* * *

><p>"…With flowers made of cream cheese frosting…" Itachi whispered as he took a small, round, red velvet cake and decorated it with beautifully sculpted flowers. "And a small white rabbit to remind you of what time it is…" With a small marzipan base, a small rabbit was constructed out of icing; even down to the pocket watch in its hand. "Put it in a box… And we're…" Itachi carefully set the small masterpiece in a red box before wrapping it up in a white ribbon. "Done."<p>

Itachi loved his business, loved his customers. It had been a _long_ time, but he had finally found something that made it worth getting up in the morning.

Well.

One of the things that made it worth getting up in the morning for him.

Although Itachi loved his customers, there were three that he absolutely _had_ to see in his shop at least once a week.

* * *

><p>The first was a blue-haired woman. Her orange eyes, at one point bright and shiny, had taken on a dimmer look since earlier this year. She was dressed to impress, just back from school, and she kept up the look of accomplishment that people expected off her.<p>

But something about Konan Ame was just _so_… Depressed.

Itachi smiled as the blue-haired woman walked in and gave a gentle hello as she walked to the counter. "Konan, how has your day been?" She only sighed,

"Not so good. Though, none of my days have been since Pein left me." Itachi shook his head, gathering a few slices of orange crème cake and wrapped them up in a sunset-tinted wrapper.

"Hang in there." He gently spoke as he handed the package to Konan, "A pretty woman like you will find someone new in no time."

"Thanks Itachi." Konan nodded, paying the brunette before she went on her way. When he was sure that he was alone, Itachi rolled his eyes; reaching into the display case for a bear-claw which he quickly devoured in two bites.

* * *

><p>The next customer stormed into the small shop, immediately calling out, "A pack of licorice: half cherry and half black!"<p>

"Hello to you too Hidan." Itachi smiled, packing the young man's order, along a box of chewy caramels. Hidan, a young, fair, albino policeman trainee, slammed a few bills down on the counter and snatched the candies up. "Tough day?"

"Tougher than a prostitute's pussy!" The short-haired albino huffed, ripping open the package of licorice and stuffing two sticks into his mouth, talking around them, "My school is hounding my ass because of my tuition fees. And fucking Kakuzu won't answer my calls so he can pay them for me!"

"A shame that he would leave…" Itachi nodded as he packed up a cherry-filled donut for the fuming albino. "He'll come around, they always do."

"Your mouth to Jashin's ears, Itachi." Hidan smirked before paying for the donut and walking out of the store. A quick glance to make sure that he was by himself, and Itachi reached under the counter for a can of whipped cream. He pointed the nozzle into his mouth and pressed down; filling his mouth with the thick, creamy substance, swallowing occasionally, until he tossed the empty can to the other side of the room.

* * *

><p>"Un…" That sad noise came from a young, blonde art student named Deidara. He was currently slouched over the counter, drinking a vanilla milkshake and occasionally taking nibbles from a raspberry fruit-roll. "Why hasn't Sasori come home yet, un? I haven't been able to sculpt anything for weeks…"<p>

"He's probably on a sabbatical…" Itachi offered, topping off the blonde's milkshake.

"Thanks un…" Deidara offered, immediately downing the rest of the shake before he announced, "I should get back to campus. See you later Itachi!" The opening and shutting of the door were the only noises in the store before Itachi gave a weird sort of growl and seized a jar of jelly beans; tipping it open above his mouth and letting the small bits of sugar and gelatin shower down into his open mouth, not caring that most of them fell to the floor, but mostly wanting to feel a certain sensation.

The feeling of being full to the point that you wouldn't have to think…

The jar shattered to the ground, empty, amongst all the stray jelly beans that didn't make it into the brunette's throat. The young man coughed a bit, trying not to lose anything in his mouth but try his damndest not to choke, but he slowly managed to swallow the thick, sugary mass; an off-colored line of drool escaping the side of his mouth.

* * *

><p>Itachi loved his customers alright. Though… There was one old woman who would just ask too many questions. And they all regarded the large framed picture that Itachi had hung up on the wall behind the counter.<p>

When he had first hung it up, she had come in to buy some soft caramels (wanting something sweet but wouldn't agitate her old teeth). As Itachi rung her up, she looked up at the picture and commented, "What a noble looking young man." Itachi blinked before he looked up at the picture that showed him in the arms of an orange-haired man.

"Yes. He's the light of my life."

But six months later, the woman came in for her weekly fix and as Itachi rang her up, she looked up at the picture and asked, "Did you change the picture dearie? The one on the wall?" Itachi looked up and saw the picture that had him in the arms of a fierce-looking brunette.

"No." Itachi shook his head, "My boyfriend has always been a brunette."

But another six months later, the woman came in again and while she was paying for her caramels, she blinked at the picture and asked again, "Are you sure you haven't changed that photo?" Itachi shut the cash-register with a bit too much force, the coins rattling around inside, gritting out,

"No ma'am, my lover has always been a red-head!"

But today, as she paid for her caramels and got a nice cupcake for her grandson, she looked up at the picture and hummed, "I really do think my eyes must be playing tricks on me. That picture is different than the other day, isn't it?" Itachi turned his head and saw the framed photo before smiling,

"No ma'am. My fiancé has always had blue hair."

* * *

><p>"Thank you, please come again." Itachi greeted to his last customer of the day (they had ordered the last of his cupcakes for a last-minute party) before he began to close for the evening. Turning the freezers and refrigerators to energy-saving mode was easy enough, and then he had to make sure that nothing had been left out (he couldn't have any rats or vermin coming in)…<p>

He was sweeping the floor in front of the counter, when a soft ringing cut through the silence. Quickly and efficiently, Itachi reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone; answering it without even glancing at the caller-ID. "Hello, Itachi Uchiha speaking…"

The broom fell with a clatter to the floor, Itachi's eyes going wide and a smile growing on his face as he spoke, "Hello Kisame. … Yes, I'm just about to lock up. Hm? Meet you where? … Is this a date? … Of course. … So in thirty minutes? … Yes. … Yes… I love you. I love you so _so_ much." With that, Itachi ended the call; a smile and a perfect rose blush gracing his delicate features before he glanced at the picture on the back wall.

His sweeping got that much faster, soon allowing him to lock up his store and head home to get ready.

* * *

><p>Six months.<p>

Six months ago, Itachi had been working in his bakery when someone rushed in, asking, "Do you guys sell Japanese sweets? Like dango, pocky, etc.?" Itachi, who was working on a tray of cookies, replied,

"Yes we do. Did you need to…" His voice trailed off as he saw the figure who had just walked in. Tall, broad, dark, and handsome were four words that fit this man perfectly. His skin, so dark that it almost seemed blue, covered his towering figure of perfect muscles. His blue hair was messy, but the clothes he wore (business casual) showed a slight sense of sophistication. And Itachi felt himself melting as he looked at the bluenette's handsome facial features.

Itachi gulped as he felt it.

That filling sensation that started in one's chest before spreading out to your entire body.

He was falling in love at first sight.

In a desperate attempt to save face, he cleared his throat and continued, "Did you need to place an order?"

"No, I've just been having a serious craving for dango and mochi lately."

"Well," Itachi walked over and opened the small display case by the ice-cream freezers and pulled out a tray of the treats that the man had been asking for. "I just made these this morning. But I could make more if you would be patient for a bit."

"No problem, that's what lunch breaks are for." The other man nodded as he took a seat by Itachi's workspace. He watched Itachi slowly start to mix the sweetened rice-flour with just the right amount of water before his delicate hands began to mix the combination together. "So, what's your name?"

"Uchiha Itachi…" Itachi stated, looking away from his work to ask, "And yours?" The bluenette gave a sharp smirk before replying,

"Hoshigaki Kisame. And it's a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Itachi."

* * *

><p>From that chance meeting, Kisame and Itachi had slowly gotten closer to each other through phone calls, dinners, concerts, and walks around the park.<p>

Itachi was in seventh heaven during this time. Kisame was the perfect gentleman, and his strong presence was just what Itachi wanted, no, needed. He wanted to spend the rest of his life with this man. That's why, on one of their dates, he jumped into Kisame's arms before snapping a picture.

It was that same picture that had been hanging in his bakery for the past six months.

* * *

><p>And even now, as Itachi walked into the café that Kisame had asked to meet up, he had nothing but love in his heart and expectation in his very soul. Expectations that maybe Kisame would ask that all important question.<p>

Accompanied with a ring.

Golden, but with a ruby instead of a diamond.

Oh, Itachi could almost _taste_ it.

He looked around the crowded café, it was thirty past eight so he couldn't say that he didn't expect the dinner rush. But it was of no consequence, because there he was sitting at a table in the center of all the chaos. His blue-haired prince. Itachi let a rare smile appear on his face before he called out, "Kisame!" The bluenette looked up at the sound and gave a light smile, waving Itachi to come over.

"Hey there." Kisame greeted as Itachi walked over, pressing a sweet (literally _sweet_) kiss to his lips before he sat down.

"So, how's everything?" Itachi asked, reaching across the table to slide his hand into Kisame's. Maybe it was because he was on a 'love-high', if you will, but Itachi didn't too much notice Kisame's uneasy disposition as the brunette sought out touch.

"It's fine. Everything's… fine." Kisame gave a nervous smile. Itachi returned the gesture, whispering,

"I'm glad." Itachi let his slim fingers run along Kisame's large hand before he sighed, "You're so handsome… I love you."

"Uh-huh…" Kisame looked away, seeming _very_ uncomfortable.

"I love you."

"Yes…" Kisame sighed.

"I love you… So, so, so, _so_ much, Kisame—"

"Alright, that's it!" Kisame groaned before he snatched his hand away and whispered harshly, "Itachi, I asked you out tonight for two reasons!"

"Yes?" Itachi batted his eyes, thinking _'This is it!'_

"The first to see if my current feelings were just fleeting instances of unease or not."

"Mm-hm?"

"And also… Look, Itachi," Kisame brushed his hair back, taking a deep breath before he said,

"I need a break." For Itachi, it seemed as if everything had slowed down exponentially.

'_Wait a minute,'_ He thought, _'That doesn't sound like 'will you marry me'.'_

"A… break?" Itachi asked, his voice unsteady, "Like a vacation from work?" He knew that Kisame worked in public relations for the city, and he knew that city work was so stressful…

"No Itachi," Kisame scratched the back of his head before he simply decided to bite the bullet, "Itachi, if this relationship between us has any hopes of surviving, I think we should take some time apart for a little bit. You understand?" Itachi could only blink.

What was Kisame saying?

He didn't understand.

Should he answer?

What should he say to get Kisame to come back to him?

Should he just answer however Kisame wanted him to?

Well, it looked like Kisame wanted him to say yes…

"Okay." Itachi nodded, his eyes downcast towards the table. Kisame let out a heavy sigh of relief,

"Thank you _so_ much for seeing things my way, Itachi. Listen, the reservation for the table is for all night so order whatever you want. It's all on me." He picked his coat up from the chair and smiled, "See you around, get home safe okay?"

And, just like that, he was gone.

When Kisame had left, Itachi simply sat there for a long while. He didn't even move, almost like a statue; some would even wonder if he was breathing. His eyes were wide, barely blinking, as his mind tried to process what just happened.

Finally, an hour later, Itachi slowly took the menu and opened it to the dessert section before he raised a slim hand to get a waiter's attention. They quickly came over, a young, perky pink-haired girl who asked, "What can I get for you tonight?" She asked. Itachi was deathly quiet before he answered, completely calm,

"Everything on the dessert menu."

"Huh?" The pink-haired waitress yelped, "Sir, maybe I didn't hear you right-?"

Itachi slammed a fist against the table, the two glasses there falling to the ground in a shatter before he turned to the waitress and seethed out,

"Then let me make it clear enough for someone like you to understand, you pink-haired dime-a-dozen whore! You see this part of this paper?" The girl was scared stiff, she could barely manage a nod, "You get it for me! I pay for it! We both go on with our lives! _Is that easy enough for you to understand, you little bitch?_"

"Y-yes… sir…" The young waitress nodded, taking the menu and rushing to the kitchen. Usually, if someone was rude to her (she worked in a public setting, it was a common occurrence) she would show them the door. But there was something about Itachi that was just… unsettling.

As she gave the order ticket to the cooks, she shuddered even more as she thought: _'Was it just me… or were his eyes orange and purple just now..?'_

* * *

><p>The door to Itachi's condo slammed open, the doorknob actually leaving a dent in the wall before Itachi stormed in; in his hands, two heavy bags from the café. He kicked the door shut, his eyes wild in fury, before he threw the bags onto the coffee table, various desserts and sweets spilling out.<p>

"How dare he..?" He whispered, taking an éclair and shoving it into his mouth. The chocolate-covered pastry wasn't even all the way down his throat yet before Itachi swallowed down a slice of chocolate cake, what he couldn't force down being spread all over his mouth and face.

"Get rid of it…" Itachi muttered the best he could with his mouth full, "Get rid of this feeling…"

He ate and ate: sticky buns, Crème Brule, ice cream (five different flavors), chocolate-caramel cookies, red forest cheesecake, gourmet fortune cookies (fortunes _still_ inside)…

It was right when he was about to force down some orange sorbet, that his body turned against him. _No, keep it down! KEEP IT DOWN, DAMN YOU!_ But it was no use.

With a grotesque sound, a mixture of choking and drowning, Itachi vomited up everything that he had eaten in the past fifteen minutes of his crazed gorging. It was a violent couple of moments, but when it was over Itachi sat on the floor, panting: his eyes glossy and his hands covered with the dark colored sludge of his stomach contents.

The brunette sat there, quiet, as he looked at the still bubbling muck. Then, with a shaky hand, he scooped up some of his vomit before moving it towards his lips, licking the substance back up.

"He wants a break…" Itachi said to himself later that evening, in one hand a chocolate-iced, chocolate-chocolate chip cupcake, in the other a photo album. As his eyes looked over image after image of him and Kisame together, Itachi had to choke back tears.

_Why am I crying?_ He smiled, despite the tears streaming down. _We're not breaking up, he just wanted a break…_

"And I'll give him one…" Itachi softly sated, devouring the cupcake in two bites, icing and wrapper in all. "Because I love him… And he loves me… I just need to show him that no one else in this world cares more about him than me…"

* * *

><p>So Itachi kept his distance.<p>

For three months…

Ninety days…

Seven-hundred twenty hours….

Forty-three thousand, two-hundred minutes…

Two million, five-hundred ninety-two thousand seconds…

A loud crack filled the bakery, a wooden spoon sitting in two pieces in his hands. His eye twitched as he rushed over to a calendar, desperately searching for…

Was it?

It was, oh thank God!

It was exactly three months to the minute when Kisame had said he needed a break. Itachi was giddy as a schoolgirl as he packed a basket full of Kisame's favorite sweets. He had shut down shop early that day, his incessant watch of the calendar taking most of his time.

He gave a calm, collected smile as he covered the basket in a neatly pressed, red and blue sheet.

"Kisame… It's okay, I know you've missed me…" Itachi spoke to the picture of the bluenette and himself. "I'm coming to your job today, I know you'll be anticipating it. So, I'll see you soon."

The bell on the bakery door chimed as Itachi locked up.

* * *

><p>Like Itachi had found from so many times of Kisame taking a detour from their dates, Kisame worked in City Hall. The brunette hummed to himself as he walked in through the front doors of the prestigious building. He walked right passed the receptionist's desk and into the elevator that went up to Kisame's floor. He happily hummed as the compartment rode up and up and up, tapping the beat of an undescript song on the basket until the elevator dinged at the fifth floor, walking out.<p>

With every cubicle he passed by, there was either a gasp of, "Is that Itachi?", a whisper of, "Doesn't he know that Kisame..?", or the beeping of a phone as someone would try and call the bluenette down the hall, letting him know that he had a guest.

An uninvited one.

Just as Itachi was about to knock on Kisame's office door, there was a call of, "Itachi?"

"Kisame!" Itachi turned towards the voice, a smile of pure joy on his face. Maybe it was the fact that they had been apart for so long, but Kisame looked downright dashing in his business-casual suit; even if the bluenette was looking less than happy at the moment. "I brought you lunch! Well, it's more of a collection of sweets rather than lunch, but still…"

"Damn it!" Kisame gritted out, grabbing Itachi's arm and leading him into an elevator that led down to the underground parking complex.

"So where did you want to go to eat this?" Itachi asked as both men walked out of the elevator, "Because I know a great park on Eighth Avenue and…" He was stopped when Kisame held up a hand, heaving a huge sigh. Then he calmly spoke,

"Itachi, what did you think it meant when I told you I needed a break?" Itachi hummed before replying,

"That we needed time apart. That I gave you, and now we're back together again!" Kisame shook his head, asking,

"And _what_ did you think when I never answered any of your calls? _All 2160 of them?"_

"That you lost your phone," Itachi shrugged as if talking about the weather, "Which is the reason that I decided to pop in. If I couldn't talk to you, I should just come here to see you—"

"Itachi, it meant that I broke up with you!" Kisame shouted, desperate to get his point across.

The area was still. The younger of the two could barely breathe.

'_Did he say… _

_What I think he just said?'_

"What do you mean…" Itachi blinked, shock mixing with confusion, "It's over?" Kisame groaned, pressing his face into his palms before he finally began,

"Itachi, you could _not_ have seen this going for too long? I mean, honestly…"

* * *

><p>"<em>You're too needy…" Itachi's first boyfriend, an orange-haired man named Pein, explained as he was moving Itachi's belongings out of his house. <em>

* * *

><p>"<em>You're like a bad, whiny housewife…" That had come from Itachi's second boyfriend, one Kakuzu Hoku, who was busy getting ready for work after a night with the younger brunette; breaking off their relationship as if he were talking about the weather, "And I never wanted to get married."<em>

* * *

><p>"<em>I feel like I'm suffocating whenever I'm with you!" Sasori Akasuna, Itachi's last boyfriend, yelled as he struggled to get a sobbing Itachi away from his car. <em>

"_We can work this out!" Itachi screamed as Sasori finally shoved him away, hopping into his car and speeding away, stillwater from the curb splashing all over Itachi, leaving the brunette drenched._

* * *

><p>"And you're too damn clingy!" Itachi had come back to the present moment just as Kisame was about to finish ranting, "I need my space. Not a break, but I cannot keep up this relationship with you!"<p>

"What do you want me to do..?" Itachi whispered, refusing to let the tears welling in his eyes fall, "I can be anything you want… I can do anything you want… Just tell me…"

"Itachi…" Kisame sighed, agitation growing such a pitch that he finally held up his hand and shouted, "Do you see what this is?

Itachi's heart went cold and still as he saw it: a golden band around Kisame's ring finger.

"WHO?" Itachi screamed in disbelief. _This can't be happening! THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING!_

"All you need to know is that it's over between us Itachi." Kisame stated and with that, he went back into the building; leaving Itachi in the parking structure all alone.

* * *

><p>He barely knew how he made it back to his store; for Itachi, everything seemed to be in a daze as he walked down the streets. But soon enough, he collapsed through the front door in the late afternoon.<p>

He didn't even switch the closed sign to open. Itachi only walked to the back of the bakery…

Opened a trapdoor in the floor…

And walked inside.

* * *

><p>The halls that winded through dark and damp spaces were lined with jars of thick, off-colored substances and floating appendages. A child's hand bobbed in its jar, almost waving to Itachi while he passed.<p>

He wandered on, his mind clearing a bit as he got to a door which he deftly opened with a key kept secure in in his pocket at all times. The door led to a small sitting room furnished only with a coffee table, a reclining chair, a chest that sat next to that, and a flat-screen TV hanging on the wall. Itachi quickly locked the door and took a deep breath, desperately trying to calm himself.

It worked: he stood up and strolled through the room until he came to the chest and opened it, his eyes shining in childish excitement before he brought out a large item that had a shiny wrapper all around it, a small candy dish filled with brightly colored sweets, and a jar of dark, red liquid. He set the items all on the coffee table before picking up the jar and saying, "I'll be right back…", before he went through another door inside the room that seemed to lead to an exact replica of his normal bakery shop…


	2. Chapter 2

The brunette returned with a steaming kettle and a glass. He poured a gratuitous amount of the kettle's contents into the glass before setting it aside and sitting down in his easy chair. "Where… to start?" His stomach grumbled as he looked at the spread he had set aside for himself. He licked his lips before grabbing the large, wrapped item and set it in his lap as he began the unwrapping process.

Soon, it could be seen that the item in the pretty wrapper was nothing _near_ as pretty. It was a human head, severed clean from its body. Not that one could recognize the head seeing as how it had been dunked and coated in a sweet, caramel candy-shell. Itachi's frame shivered, a weird sort of giggle escaping his lips as his eyes widened, "I can't wait anymore…" And with that, he began licking at the sweet; occasionally chipping of pieces of candy and rotting skin into his mouth and sucking them down with a vigor that could only be called manic.

_More… Gods, only something as delicious as _this_…_ Itachi lapped his tongue against his perverse treat again and again, like a child with a lollipop. _Only _this_ will get rid of that empty feeling!_

"Hm?" He had licked down through skin, weak flesh, and gotten to the bone near the bridge of the head's nose only to discover something weird about the eyes. Itachi blinked, looking at the small, off-white clumps of flesh squirming by the head's eyes. "I thought that I sprayed for maggots last month." The brunette thought for a moment before he shrugged, "Oh well," before he forced his tongue into the eye socket and whipped it around inside before slowly pulling away, his tongue holding fast to a dripping golden eye: one side had been crusted over with sugar, but the other was dripping rotting puss filled with maggots.

The brunette let the foul treat rest on his tongue for a moment, his eye-lids fluttering at the sensation of the maggots adjusting to a new environment, before he took it into his mouth; crunching the small morsel and moaning as the putrid-sweet juices flooded his mouth and ran down his throat.

_**Oh my, what a mess… Your head seems to be decaying…  
>"Lick, lick" Around your eyes… So delicious, so tasty…<strong>_

He watched the television screen, filled with images of him and his darling Kisame at a concert. Subconsciously, his hand reached for a small candy dish on the table besides him and grabbed a handful of the delights: small eyeballs coated in molten sugar stared up at him before he tossed them all into his mouth, crunching and licking the thick liquids that were released up from his lips. "How many dogs did I have to go through for this batch?" He asked himself as he took more of the candied eyes and popped them into his mouth, mixing them amongst the fleshy, sugary mush that was already in his mouth.

* * *

><p>"<em>So cute…" He sighed as he went grocery shopping one day and saw a small girl giving away puppies, the hyper balls of fluff and wet noses tumbling over each other in the box. <em>

"_Sir, could you please take one?" The girl asked, holding one of the puppies out to Itachi. Itachi stared for a moment before he smiled, _

"_I'll do you one better. I'll take three of them off your hands."_

"_Really?" The girl gasped, eyes going wide. She quickly bowed as Itachi picked out three puppies, "Oh, thank you!" The brunette carefully picked his three out, paying close attention to their eyes before he walked off, the girl crying out, "Promise to take care of them." _

"_Oh, I will…" Itachi smiled as one of the puppies licked his cheek._

* * *

><p>It took sixteen puppies for Itachi to get a whole jar of these candies, and that wasn't even the hardest part of it. Eyes only stay sweet and crunchy while their host is alive, so Itachi would have to carefully force a hook into a puppy's eye cavity, tear all the nerves and veins from the hole, and then pull the organ out; one at a time, carefully as to not injure the treat.<p>

Plus, the squirming and whines of the puppies didn't help with his concentration either.

_**Shiny, candied eyes of newborn, baby puppies…  
>Let's fill a jar up with these delicacies…<strong>_

He gulped down the mixture before he picked up a glass of what looked like steaming, red tea, but as he drank it, it went down far too slow to be any semblance of the liquid. Boiled blood, mixed with cherry extract; the perfect way to relax after such a day. He grabbed for the remote and pressed a button for the dvd-changer to change discs. The footage that soon appeared on the screen had him in Kisame's arms as they both lay down on a bed.

Oh, Kisame had wanted to record the two of them having sex so badly… Why on earth, if Itachi loved him so much, would Itachi refuse him?

Oh, Kisame's muscles were _so_ amazing, Itachi was practically salivating as images and sounds of their love, their pleasure, moved across the screen. It was at this time that Itachi decided to reach for a plate that held a delicate slice of cake. The cake had many, thin layers; each separated by a spreading of thick, off-white cream. Itachi licked his lips before picking up a fork and beginning to eat his delicious slice of mille-feuille that he made special…

Cum was an excellent base for certain desserts, so as Itachi pressed a bite of the mille-feuille between his lips, he moaned at the delicious burst of decadent flavor; his member starting to grow hard at the taste.

_**The Mille-feuille sitting there upon the dish has the sweet, sweet taste of love!**_

By the time he had finished the cake, Itachi was fully erect and the dvd was just about to hit its climax as the brunette on screen was on all fours, Kisame thrusting into him from behind. Itachi panted, licking any remnants of the mille-feuille from his lips before he brought his heated flesh out of his pants and began stroking himself in time with the video. While he worked, he reached towards the table and grabbed a plate of chocolate-coated strawberries, placing them into his mouth one at a time with his free hand. He had three when a voice in his mind asked,

_**Q. Surely you can't contemplate eating all that's on the plate?**_

To which Itachi chuckled and replied with his mouth full, chocolate and strawberry juices smearing his lips,

"_**A. 'But it's all mine and I love sweets!'"**_

* * *

><p>It was blue, long, hard and spiraling up towards the ceiling as it glistened with Itachi's saliva. It was a blueberry-flavored lollipop that Itachi had made the other day and, seeing as how it reminded him so much of Kisame, he decided to use it to keep himself company while he watched the video over again. Therefore, after lapping his tongue around the sticky, blue treat once more, Itachi trailed it down his body until it circled his entrance, which he had prepared with whipped cream a few moments before.<p>

With a breathy moan and a gasp, Itachi pressed the sweet inside himself; biting his teeth as he felt himself sucking the treat up, like he would have if it was going in his mouth. When he had let himself get used to it, the brunette began to pump it in and out, playing with his nipples and the skin of his chest and stomach, effectively smearing the chocolate that he had smeared over his hands all over himself before he turned towards the screen, His eyes hooded over towards Kisame's image as he begged,

"_**Please my darling, my sweet lover; make a delicious, full candy-course…"**_

He pumped the blue lollipop in and out of his ass, moaning and gasping as, with every few pumps, he managed to hit his prostate. "Kisame…" He whispered, stopping his motions so he could crawl over to the TV. He ran his fingers of the image of the bluenette's face before whispering,

_**"Let me have it: face, fingers, mouth… Everything of yours!"**_

He began moving the sweet in and out of himself in a frenzy, beads of sweat rolling down his pale skin as he panted,

"_**Let me utterly enjoy the mild honey within your heart…  
>Shall we savor every part in front of my eyes with my tongue..?"<strong>_

With a final shout of Kisame's name, Itachi came; his own sticky, white crème staining his chest. As he lay there, exhausted but feeling a tad more relaxed, the brunette wiped a chocolate-covered finger through his quickly cooling cum before slipping the digit through his lips. His sweet moans filled the heated air as he sucked his finger clean, imagining that it was a certain part of his beloved's body.

When he was done, his glossy eyes looked up towards the ceiling as he whispered, "You love me. I know you do. So I will _not_ allow some unknown whore or bitch or whatever the hell she thinks she is ruin that. Kisame…" He smiled, "You're mine to savor. Mine and _mine _alone…"

* * *

><p>Itachi, from the day he was born, had never taken rejection well. It was only when he was a child and the first love of his life had <em>betrayed<em> him that he decided that things would not stand in such a way…

"_Uchiha-kun?" His teacher, his incredibly handsome teacher, had called out to the small boy one afternoon. Itachi let the smallest smile grace his face before he turned around –_

_Only to have his heart sink into an unfathomable abyss as he saw the man holding the hand of a young woman and looking at her with love and adoration that Itachi had dreamed off before he said, "This is my fiancée. I've told her so much about how excellent of a student you are that she wanted to meet you as soon as possible!" The woman smiled, _

"_A pleasure to meet you Uchiha-kun!" Itachi's eyes narrowed, the small child's blood boiling as he saw this woman – This bitch! – With the person he loved. _

The brunette remembered with fond memories how that bitch found her dog choked to death with its own intestinal tract, its eyes carved out and its tail chopped off and forced down its own throat. But it hadn't been enough to get her away from his precious teacher.

So he had to give up. But on that day he promised that no one he loved would _ever_ be taken away from him.

_EVER. _

_AGAIN._

* * *

><p>Pein was such a kind, quiet soul… Until he tried to get together with that whore Konan…<p>

"_Itachi…" The orange-haired male gulped, his grey eyes wide as they whipped around his surroundings. "Itachi, untie me…" Pein had gone to sleep in his condo after a long day of work, just to wake up and find himself on, what could only be described as a large baking sheet. The only reason he could tell that Itachi was in this dark, imposing space with him was that every few minutes the brunette would walk up and spray his nude body down with a bottle of sugar-water. _

_As the water dried, it left a crackling, sugary shell on Pein's skin. _

_Now, one could ask why Pein didn't get up. But his body felt like it was being weighed down by lead; he could hardly feel anything. But hearing the other's pleas only caused Itachi to look straight into Pein's eyes and smile, "I love you. So, so much."_

"_Then get me off of this thing!" Pein shouted, but Itachi seemed to ignore him, humming, _

"_That's why I can't let any other whore or bitch try to steal you from me. Besides…" The manic brunette had moved over to a large oven door, his hand turning the dial all the way up. He briskly pulled the large doors open, revealing a roaring fire, "I need flour." _

"_Itachi, no! NO!" Pein yelled as Itachi shoved the tray he was on into the fiery inferno and shut the door, leaning against it; a smile and a whisper on his lips as Pein's screams died down to pitiful coughs and gurgles and finally, silence, _

"_I love you. I love you. I love you…"_

* * *

><p>Kakuzu Hoku had a tough shell… But only Itachi knew how to get to the sweet, sweet center…<p>

"_Love you… I love you so much…" Itachi told Kakuzu as the other brunette had been chained to the chair across from him, lines of bile seeping out from behind the gag in his mouth as Itachi picked up a slice of a strawberry tart and poured a thick, red, chunky, foul-smelling substance over it: two eyeballs plopping onto before the slim Uchiha added a dollop of cream on top, singing to himself, _

"_**Let's have a strawberry tart with a very special sauce  
>Decorate it with eyes and add more cream!"<strong>_

_He pressed the mess into his mouth and swallowed it whole, chewing the eyes to help them go down before he licked his lips and jumped into Kakuzu's lap, the older turning his head away every time Itachi tried to kiss him. Itachi was confused, but after a moment, he asked, _

"_**Feeling dizzy because of the saccharine smell?  
>Dear, just add a fork and knife!"<strong>_

_From behind his back, Itachi took out the two implements before twirling the fork into a lock of Kakuzu's hair… And yanking it back with almost inhumane strength, leaving a bloody patch where the hair and that portion of the man's scalp had been torn away. _

"_You wouldn't believe the type of licorice I can make out of hair…" Itachi explained, setting the bloody mat of hair into a plate before repeating the process again… _

_And again… _

_And again, his eyes almost glowing orange and purple with every agonized sound that Kakuzu let out…_

* * *

><p>And Sasori, oh Sasori… How DARE he try to leave Itachi for that blonde-haired bimbo?<p>

_Sasori's yelp of pain echoed through the dark, foul-smelling room as Itachi pressed a needle into the vein on the red-head's right wrist. "Itachi, what the hell are you doing?" Sasori knew he had been knocked out, that's why Itachi had been able to tie him up so easily. What he didn't know was why Itachi was attaching the tube of the needle to some sort of device that looked like a pump that led into a bucket. _

"_Making candy~!" Itachi smiled, "My silly little lovey-dovey bear!" He held up a plastic bulb before explaining, "Do you know what _this_ does? If I squeeze it, it helps get the most delicious red nectar out of someone. Perfect for making raspberry fruit-rolls!" Before Sasori could say anything, Itachi squeezed, Sasori seizing up as he felt something being pulled out of him. _

_Itachi giggled as he saw red dripping into the bucket. But he soon pouted, "Not fast enough." He then squeezed the bulb faster, again and again. When red began streaming in, he spun around in joy, scarcely noticing Sasori losing consciousness due to his blood being drained so haphazardly from him…_

* * *

><p>"Kisame…" Itachi whispered as he lay in bed that night, a jar of chocolate sauce in his hands. He dipped two fingers into the jar and wrote the kanji for Kisame's name over his heart, sticking the fingers into his mouth afterwards.<p>

"_**Oh, my beloved! Oh, my beloved!  
>I adore you so much I could eat you whole!"<strong>_

Those were his thoughts as he repeated his actions all over his body. "I'm yours Kisame, always… And you'll… always… be mine…" He whispered as he poured the rest of the jars contents into his mouth, most of it dripping down his chin. "Chocolate is the flavor of love Kisame…" A perverse grin grew on his face, "Allow me to share it with you…"

* * *

><p>"The hell…" Thick, brown liquid dripped from every corner and surface of Kisame's office, "Is this?" The bluenette had come into work that morning just for someone to tell him that his office had been vandalized. However, he could never have believed to <em>this<em> extent!

"Who do you think could have done it?" One of his co-workers asked. But Kisame gritted his teeth and ripped his phone out of his pocket,

"I need to make a call."

* * *

><p>He walked into the bathroom and leaned against the wall as he called a familiar number that he had yet to delete from his phone. "Hello, you've reached the private phone of Uchiha Itachi. I'm unavailable at the moment, so if you could please leave me a message after the beep, I will be sure to get back to you as soon as possible." Kisame was about to say something, waiting for the beep, but the outgoing message went on, "And if this is Kisame… <em>This doesn't feel too good, DOES it?<em> Calling your loved one just to be ignored, what a _FUCKED_ up feeling! But it's okay, my lovely, lovely shark. Really, it's okay. I _love_ you. Je t'aime. J'adore. NO WHORE OR BITCH IS GOING TO KEEP YOU FROM ME!"

"Damn it Itachi, answer the phone!" Kisame roared as the outgoing message's voice trailed off in a fit of cackles, "I don't know what kind of shit you're pulling here, but cut it out or I'm calling the police!"

* * *

><p>Outside of the building, in the alleyway, Itachi hung up his phone and smiled, "I love you. And I know you love me…", forcing a Twinkie in between his lips.<p>

_**With every bite and every chomp, I feel a filling in my heart …**_

* * *

><p>At the end of the week, Kisame's fiancée invited him over for dinner and a movie: something the bluenette was incredibly thankful for, time to relax after his hellish week.<p>

The movie was entertaining, dinner delicious… All the two of them wanted to do was go upstairs for a bit of private time to themselves. But right when Kisame's fingers were undoing the woman's bra, his cell-phone rang.

"Damn it…" He gritted out, "Give me a sec." He crawled off of bed and picked up his discarded pants and got his cell-phone out. The number calling was restricted but Kisame answered, "Hello?"

He shrunk back as the sound of a mixer roared into his ears. "Damn kids…" He growled, hanging up the phone. "Now…"

"Where were we?" His beautiful fiancée beckoned to him. The bluenette sat on the bed, playfully pulling at the woman's leg…

Just for his cell-phone to ring again. "Just ignore it…" His fiancée sighed, bouncing over and kissing his cheek and neck.

"You're probably right…" Kisame agreed, kissing her back. "But just to be sure…" He turned his phone off and tossed it on the counter before pouncing on the beautiful creature in bed with him.

Everything was good in the life of Hoshigaki Kisame…

Until the _house_ phone rang. Kisame groaned, "Don't answer it…"

"But it could be the florist or the wedding singer or…" She went on as she answered, "Hello – Ah!" She hung up, "Like a power-drill or something!"

* * *

><p>Thursday called for heavy rain. But did that stop Itachi? No…<p>

He crawled through the cover of darkness, rain pelting on him, until he reached the house of the skank that was trying to take what was his. He hid in the bushes, his eyes peering into the small house and seeing the woman showing off a picture of the type of dress she wanted: her wedding ring blinking on her hand.

"You are going much too far with this game, Kisame…" Itachi hissed, scratching his fingernails against the window, "That ring is mine… That dress is mine… This was supposed to be _my_ wedding, you were supposed to marry _ME_!" Itachi narrowed his eyes as Kisame placed a kiss on the woman's lips, his scratching against the window getting even worse, "Stop _teasing_ me, damn you! Kisame, Kisame, Kisame! You belong to me, to me, TO ME!"

_Crack!_

Itachi flinched as he saw that his fingers had managed to make a crack in the glass, he quickly hid behind the bushes when Kisame walked up to see what had caused the noise. He held his breath as Kisame inspected the glass before going back, his statement of a bird hitting the glass muffled before he walked back into the sitting room.

"Damn you…" Itachi whispered, "Damn her too…" The brunette snuck away through the dark shadows of the stormy night. Though he was being drenched by frigid rains, he smiled and giggled, "You will be mine, Kisame… Whoever leads you astray, I will _always_ get you back in the end…"

* * *

><p>Kisame's mother-in-law-to-be had him rush out to town one evening to discuss drinks for the reception with their wedding-planner. It had been a three-hour meeting that incorporated a lot of drinking the product, but Kisame had gotten somewhere amongst all the partying.<p>

He was currently making his dizzy way over to his car, grumbling as he tried to find his keys. "Let's see here…" He narrowed his eyes at his key-ring, "Which one…"

He didn't notice the footsteps…

"The red one..?" He tried it, "Nope. The blue –AGH!" There was a crack of sudden pain, like he had just been struck by lightning in the back of the head, before he blacked out: his body slumping to the floor.

He managed to blink his eyes once, glimpsing a figure in white, before succumbing to darkness… As he faded from consciousness, he could have sworn he heard someone cackle,

"_**Oh Dear God,**_

_**'How I love sweets!'"**_

* * *

><p>"Hrm…" Kisame tried to groan, feeling the sound more than hearing it. With a cough and a mumble, he managed to open his eyes, finding himself in a dark, damp space. A happy voice gasped,<p>

"Oh, you're up! Yay!"

"Itachi..?" Kisame groaned, his head pounding; he swore he felt something dry flaking off the back of his head. He struggled to get his bearings straight but when he did, he nearly didn't believe his eyes.

He saw Itachi… dressed in a wedding gown. From the veil on his face, the pearl gloves on his hands, the red shoes on his feet… He even had earrings on, for God's sake! But even the veil couldn't hide the twitching of Itachi's eyes as the brunette smiled and laughed, an off-putting sound like shattering glass, "You _like?_ I knew you would! Oh, I never saw myself wearing a dress in the future but I thought, why not!" He spun around, the bottom of the dress whirling around him, "Oh, and I even shaved my legs! I know what _that_ does for you!"

"Where am I..?" Kisame groaned, trying to stand. He choked when he found himself strapped into a chair. "What the fuck is this?" Itachi walked up, elegantly (he had been practicing in those heels), before grabbing Kisame's neck and bringing them eye to eye.

Itachi smiled, candy staining his teeth, before he threw his head back in another peal of laughter. It ended abruptly when he surged forth, like a snake, and lapped a long line down from Kisame's ear to his neck and back again. "I could make a lollipop out of your sweat Kisame… You taste so _good_…" Itachi moved away, "Time to get serious…"

Kisame gulped, expecting the brunette to pull out a knife…

And getting a magazine in front of his face instead.

"It's a brochure of the most romantic spots in the world!" Itachi sighed, "I was thinking we could honeymoon in Rome or Paris… Oh! How about Hawaii?"

That tore it.

"Itachi, you pyscho-bitch! Let me out of this chair before I kick your fucking ass!" He gulped when Itachi leaned forward and screamed, eyes dilating in his madness,

"_I'M_ the psycho? What about that fat cunt you call yourself seeing? Oh my God," Itachi sang, "I _hate_ her guts and entrails~!" Kisame scoffed, so _that's _what this is about?

"Whether you hate her or love her, I'm marrying her." Itachi's expression immediately turned dark, moving off of Kisame like he had burned him. Kisame watched as Itachi paced in front of Kisame, his eyes narrowing as he spat out,

"So he would rather marry some fat, ugly cunt than me..? Fine." The brunette stomped on the ground, nearly breaking the switch that was there. Kisame's eyes whipped around as he found himself in the air: a chain carrying the chair up and up until it was suspended over a bubbling vat of sticky blue.

"Itachi…" Kisame trembled, _him_ trembling, as he felt the steam waft up past him, "What is that?" Itachi answered by spinning over to a large lever, grabbing it and trilling,

"Blueberry _taffy~!_" Then he smirked, eyes glowing purple and orange, "And it needs _one_ more ingredient to make it perfect." To demonstrate his point, he turned the lever once, the chair moving an inch closer to the vat. "You see Kisame… No one leaves me. I don't allow it. No, they stay with me…" He pressed a hand over his stomach, "_Inside_ of me. Forever and ever…" He twisted the lever again, "And _ever!_" Kisame couldn't believe what he was hearing: he shook his head before even attempting to ask,

"So you turned them all into _taffy?_" Itachi laughed, shaking his head,

"Cupcakes, licorice, raspberry candies… It all varies on my mood and the guy. And for you~!" He smirked, "_I'm thinking taffy!_"

"Itachi, you can't _do_ this!" Kisame roared, rocking against his restraints, "You're going to go to jail or worse!" Itachi ignored him, leaving the lever for a moment to pick something up from the counter, singing as he walked,

"_**Please my darling, my sweet lover; make a delicious full candy-course…  
>Can you see the smile upon my face?<br>It's because I've devoured everything…"**_

Itachi grabbed a plate and uncovered it, turning around and showing it to Kisame: the bluenette feeling like he was going to puke at any moment. It was a heart, human or animal, who knew, but a heart none the less, sprinkled with chocolate Kisses.

"You're breaking my heart Kisa…" He sniffled, "I'll have to repair it by eating this one… It doesn't have a hole inside like me…" Itachi picked up the dripping muscle before tearing his teeth into it, blood and chocolate creating a bittersweet mixture that cascaded down the Uchiha's throat.

"Oh God…" The bluenette had to hold back the bile threatening to rise from his stomach as he watched Itachi devour the whole thing, licking his red and brown lips after. "God, you're disgusting…"

"Oh," Itachi chuckled, strips of red stuck between his teeth, "You don't mean that. _**  
><strong>_

_**The sweet chunk in my mouth I hungrily devoured  
>Can't you tell that I'm utterly entranced by you?"<br>**_

"Listen, I can't tell _anything_ right now," Kisame gritted out, "Except how much I want to get the _fuck_ out of here! Let me go-" He was cut off by a jerk of the chair, the heat from the vat becoming that much more intense.

"Stop being immature!" Itachi shouted, mania over-coming him for a second before he sighed and smiled, "The sooner you admit that you made a mistake, the sooner we can get on with our lives…"

"You are _insane!_" Kisame roared, trying to break out of his restraints again. But the brunette shook his head and sighed,

_**"Please my darling, my sweet lover; make a delicious full candy-course…  
>Use love spells and words of affection as spices for our meal!"<br>**_

"Damn it…" The bluenette captive whispered to himself as he rocked the chair back and forth with his struggles, "The fuck are these things made out of?"

"Now and Laters," Itachi replied as if they were talking about the weather. But then something clicked in his mind, "Oh, I almost forgot…" Dark eyes warily watched as the hysterical young man brought over a ladder and used it to quickly climb up to Kisame's level. Kisame watched with cold, emotionless eyes and Itachi undid his left hand, the one that held his gleaming wedding band, and brought it up to his face. Kisame snapped.

"Has it finally clicked in your head how _fucked up_ this is?" The bluenette screamed, "Because, to hell with counseling, you are _DEAD_ when I get out of this chair! You're going to _wish_ you were dead by the time I – AGH!"

He never finished his sentence: screaming as Itachi engulfed his ring-finger and bit clean through it before sliding back down the ladder. "YOU FUCKING PSYCHOPATH!" Kisame bellowed out in agony, the area where the finger had been reduced to a bleeding stump: crimson trickling down into the sweet, blue abyss.

But Itachi only smiled, his lips sticky and red as he pulled out the finger and licked the blood away,

_**"I love you so, so much I could devour you!**_

_**I love you so much I could wolf you down!"**_

He frowned for a second as he pulled off the ring and tossed it behind him before sticking the finger into the blouse of the wedding dress for later: patting it fondly as he turned away,

"_**Never stolen from me, never torn away from me…**_

_**Darling please, stay inside of me…"**_

For Kisame, all he felt was a numbing pain growing through his hand and the mounting amount of tackiness on his hand. But it was all shoved to the back of his hand as the chair creaked again, slowly descending towards the boiling death below. He looked down to the floor and saw Itachi turning the lever. "ITACHI, CUT IT OUT!"

"_**I love you…"**_ Was the other's response.

"Seriously, STOP!" Kisame yelled again, struggling as his demise came ever closer. But Itachi shook his head, _**  
><strong>_

"_**I love you…"  
><strong>_

"Fuck…" The bluenette groaned, the heat becoming unbearable.

"_**I love you…"**_

"WAIT!" Kisame shouted just as his feet began to dip into the scorching hot taffy. Itachi's face was impassive save for the slim eyebrow he raised in question. Kisame bit his lip, trying to think past the concentrated pain coursing through the nerves of his feet. "I… love you too…"

"What?" Itachi blinked, eyes growing wide in ecstasy at those words. "Really?" Kisame didn't answer, too busy trying not to pass out from pain. But, all too soon, the dark part of Itachi's mind surged up and he seized the lever, sobbing, "LIAR! YOU DON'T MEAN IT!"

"Damn it," Kisame bit out, his plan shattered, "Itachi! Let me out of this thing!"

_**"I love you…"**_ Itachi smiled, tears streaming down from his eyes.

As one of them slid past his lips, he lapped it up. "Salt? What a weird taste…" Then, the candy-addict began to turn the lever in earnest, chanting in rhythm with his work, _**  
><strong>_

"_**I love you.  
>I love you.<br>I love you.  
>I love you.<br>I love you.  
>I love you.<br>I love you.  
>I love you.<br>I love you.  
>I love you.<br>I love you.  
>I love you.<br>I love you.  
>I love you.<br>I love you.  
><strong>_

"_**I love you!"**_ The brunette cackled as the lever refused to go any further. He walked up to the vat, the clicks of his heels echoing in the darkness, and looked inside.

A few bubbles belched up from the scalding depths…

Then,

Nothing.

* * *

><p>Business at Kokoro continued as usual: Itachi working non-stop to keep the smiles on his customers' bright faces. His favorite customers still came in every day, he even had a new one who would come in: eyes filled with tears about how her husband-to-be abandoned her out of the blue.<p>

The space on the wall that usually held a picture was empty. That was the only change in the bakery and Itachi wasn't sure if he was going to remedy or not. His heart… Still needed time to heal.

* * *

><p>He was cleaning up after the rush-hour when that peculiar old woman came shuffling in. "Oh, here for your caramels again?" Itachi asked, the old woman nodding,<p>

"Just a little something to brighten up this old woman's day, dearie." Itachi went to the back get a small bag of the sweets and he quickly came out with them _and_ a strip of taffy in his mouth.

"Here you go ma'am." Itachi spoke, taking the woman's money and going back to his treat. But the old woman's eyes were stuck to the taffy.

"Such a… beautiful color!" She whispered. At first, Itachi blinked. But he then took the taffy out and looked at it: a deep, blueberry blue on one side and a deep, crimson red on the other. A knowing smile grew on his face,

"Yes… It really is." When the old woman left and he made sure he was alone, he shoved the rest of the sweet into his mouth and kissed his fingers, "Love you.", before going to clean the rest of the bakery.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **

**Kisame – You heartless bitch! After I was such a pimp in 'Duke Hoshigaki's Madness' too! **

**Itachi – I'm surprised I didn't get fat from all that candy… **

**(Kisame and TG look at Itachi) **

**Kisame – Wait, **_**that's**_** what you took away from this story? **

**TG – Um, while these two get out their differences, I would like to take this moment to ask you all to please review. Please? Come on, I'll give you candy~! Not like Orochimaru's candy, of course… And definitely not Itachi's candy… And then again, it wouldn't be actually candy… **

**Please review! **

**And Happy All Hallow's Eve to one and all! **

**-Tyranno's girl.**


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